You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
