don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
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