Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
