so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
soo... how was my night?
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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