Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
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