why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
