Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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