i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
