I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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