That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
