what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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