the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I queefed so loud it echoed.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
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