Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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