so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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