my soul wont recognize me after tonight
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Randomize
