the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
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