she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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