Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
