I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Randomize