I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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