did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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