At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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