I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
