I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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