I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
