im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
i think i scared a bird with my dick
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
