I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize