seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
