I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize