Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
