I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Randomize
