and i looked up. we had an audience...
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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