So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
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