you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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