I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
he's gonorrhea incarnate
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Randomize
