Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
I used to kick so much ass
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.