she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.