just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
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If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
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Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress