yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
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