Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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