rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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