Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
