Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
