She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
