On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Boobs are out for the taking
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
