yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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