well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
you will always have a special place in my vag
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
