Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I smell like Dick and happiness
Randomize