She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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