Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize