There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
