Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
