Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
