I swear she didn't look like that last week.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Randomize
