I seem to have left my pride at pride
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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