like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
