First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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