you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Randomize
