So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
