Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
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