is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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