Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
We just shotgunned beers for America
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I am one with the molecules
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
