everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
