I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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