i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
