How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
We had to coat check the pizza.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
