my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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