I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize