This is not my ceiling
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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